Productive Negligence

At last!!!! Honestly family I believe I've been avoiding these therapy sessions mhhhh,  I'll say...... more like productive negligence. I believe I like the way that sounds....so many thoughts to put together in so few paragraphs. Pause, to find some music......singing you don't gotta go to work we can work from home.... moving on. My phone is still  on workout tempo. Ri Ri bring it on " please don't stop the music! music! Family, the last few months of my life have been ....thinking of a word??? theatrical, no. movie, no... A real life screenplay. literally I was in a play on a broadway stage! Broad way!? Yes I said it! Right here in Prattvegas! "The difference between a weed and a flower is perception" uknown who said the last statement but it stuck with me. In preparing for my role in the Play " The Ultimate Comeback " I began the spiritual journey of channeling emotion. Look here!!!! All I know is actors and Actresses deserve the millions they get paid. I'm officially a professional actress. At least that's what I told myself everyday leading up to the play. To be able to cry in deep sorrow on cue takes a unspoken and rarely understood form of self awareness of life, trauma and or experiences. When I decided to become a professional I had to address, identify, conquer and release, that was my personal technique . I avoided practicing the crying scene for several weeks. I didn't want to take myself there. I didn't want to tell myself that I need my momma and I want my daddy. I didn't want to release the screams I felt while looking at their caskets or walking away from their graves as my heart screamed burial day, my soul cried 'Lord please don't make me leave!"... tear.  Lets piggy back away from here and move forward to my present journey. My interview with Chris on ABC was fun and interesting. WSFA with Tonya Terry was great also. Please forgive me if you're reading this and you didn't know. I had several... many, I had a plethora of people tell me "Hey! I saw you on the news" " Aye! You need to let people know the next time you on the news!"  I was just like "Okay" LOL I really tapped into who I am this season fam. And it feeellllls GREAT! Thank you Lord for this plate. I met with my publisher the day before yesterday. WHAAAAaaaay Ya girl got a publisher to publish her......God did dat! Just like that. Gave it all back. I bought a new notebook yesterday in which I wrote." God from this moment on I allow you to love me. " Its too deep for me to go into detail and if it didn't resonate when you read it ....read it again, ask the one above for understanding. I'm no longer in a place of explaining explanations. Check it, respect it, Hunny Money said it!  That being said I understand why God is so carful with me....Strategically delicate comes to mind when I think of the love......Im stuck, struck


blessings

Making mistakes is better than faking perfection

Heyyy!!! I mean I'm back! Look who's in the building......honestly I must apologize family. Its been a long time. please do forgive me I just have so much going on it seems I've had no time for my therapy.....I haven't even had a chance to tell you the Vegas details. And here I am 2months later. Well better late than nather. I mean never. Never have I ever. Ok....were we gone take that?.......Never have I ever had a dream that wasn't real......just a little more detail... When I woke up I knew what it meant or ...if it should be repeated... or if it came from sleep eating. you know like eating a good snack before bed while in it......Again I wake up... let me pause for a minute this may be to much information for the internet. just kidding, not really

ViVa

Our God is an awesome God, He reigns from heaven above with wisdom power and love. Our God is an awesome God. singing loooove its so many things I need to tell youuuu. If you keep reading I'm gone tell you how. It aint no possibility you look at me differently. Why! Cauuuuuse Looooveee, I'm just gone keep it real like I always do!!!!! STop STop .......Yall I am really sangin this song with soul in my head as I'm writing. Back to the point of that whole interlude song. So many things I have to tell yall family. For once I'm not hungry. Shout out to hungry greedy girl for showing up during my early morning snap!!, as I make my tea and do my morning thing which always includes some manner of music. even if its toilet toe tapping. That's humorously graphic. My Paw Paw used to say it's better out than in and it's better to bare the shame than to bare the pain. You are supposed to SH@t everyday.  CUT!!!! Back to the music and love, all of the above. I was talking to God the latter part of the morning about this acting thing. I'm like Oh My God! What have I done! I told everyone I'm going to be in this play. Now see Jesus! This is why? See that's a lot  of pressure. Thank you Lord for all these gifts. I gotta be really carful  what I type write "hear". written words manifest thoughts thru the ear. Lord make it clear. Singing Free your mind an the rest will follow. En Vouge .....Over the river and through the woods to grandmothers house we go. AYE yall I was playing on grannies guitar this morning I think I should name it..hmmmm. we'll get back to that. While playing grannies guitar I decided its time for me to put my fingers on a harp. That's something I've never done. I guess you heard that holy Father son. I did not put an exclamation mark.........ok.  I take that tone back.It's the PMS. God and I have my best relationship. I mean he gives me my thoughts before I say them. like in a physical realm. I remember I .....well I wanted to testify about the thought I had for Vegas. ViVa Las Vegas.......look. hear. yes hear. AMAZING!This gone be a testimony of truth! So, if you!?.............. I'm gone speak it in my church standing in my truth.  Meaning being who I'm. Understand you are the building. Words in the past I watered down. My cramps say lay down but I had to get that out. Love Peace and Blessings

Hunny Money

SOooooo family I'm just sooooooooo excited.....The other day I saw an eagle soaring while on the back porch. The above video is me sweeping around my own front door. Not yours. I just did a run on the piano in my head....lol. oh, but I knows a man! That will be your broom in the sand .........wait a minute "broom in the sand" ...... ok I can't get stuck there literally. I feel like I should write on that statement. I love you all and pray blessings for you...............sike. Yall thought I was about to say bye. lol I have to much to say or explain in intimate detail to those of you......you know who you are. still reading. Greetings, from Hungry Greedy Gurl. I'm seriously hungry right now...........A day and a few hours later... I ate and I'm actually full right now. let me pause and read what I was writing about. Never mind. I'm already in the flow. I'm just glad to be here from a day ago. OOHHHHhhhhh. Hunny Money in the building . LOL. Okay family if you don't know who Hunny Money is?  Real quick. Every day I have tea with honey and no matter how much I put in, I always have to add more. like my money so sweet and no matter how much,  The lil hunny bear sings " Some Mo Honey, For tha Hunny with the money." lol  YALL! I actually shared that thought on social media, snap, instagram. I decided to record myself singing it one morning and decided to share it and I thought to myself " What if I was a rapper? "" hmmmmm yehhhhh." "I think I'll call myself Hunny Money." Which is where the song "Mo Honey"......Hunny with the money........I'm really trying to think of a title for this life song I created throughout my daily routine. Love, Peace and blessings.

The Ultimate Comeback

SO! family, I'm back and better than ever..... I'm so grateful and glad to be hear. I juts finished a whole spill on periscope about my not Macho man.... and all of that shared it on facebook. I really have so positivity to talk about. The play I'm in called the "Ultimate Comeback" please come out and see it if your available and can. I pray ticket sells exceed all expectations according to Ephesians 3:20. Warning! If you see me in the casino having a great time its because I'm doing character research. LOL. I must admit that I speak to those slot machines and say "give me my fathers money!" I've won a lil something but have yet to hit the jackpot. Which is my goal every time I go. I believe my blog entry/therapy/real life is about to get realer? the realest? most real? realer than most. Yeah, that sounds about right. Its sunday family and I'm alive. That's a positive vibe. Praise be to God!

Not so Macho...Thank God for clarification

Well familia, I stand corrected he is not a Macho Man! Yes I jumped right in. Yall have been reading long enough....for me to start where I left off. SOooooo my boyfriend explained to me that in his culture, Macho man isn't the cute nick name I thought it to be. Side note we are at the nick name stage and I also explained that he can't call me timora. but any way he went on to explain that to call him a Macho man would mean he is abusive and hits women something like a player too. He then said " That's not who I am..? " I explained. I thought it was a cute nick name, like you my macho man.....Any way.  I had to make that clear to yall. because I'm sure my readers are from all backgrounds. God is good people and I hope you are living your best most positive life. I'm going to Chicago to see my family and granny tomorrow. I'm so excited. I miss my granny. Loosing my grandma Mary here in Alabama has made me cherish her even more. Although she's already a jewel.
I plan on trying some good vegan food. Hungry Greedy Gurl style. I should probably look that up now. Shout out to Americas Best Eye glasses Montgomery on Ann Street for squeezing in an appointment for me so I can see on this journey. lol js. I truly appreciate great service.

Macho Man

I decided to tell the world about my Macho Man as while writing a song about him..........



I'm missing you more now.
The baby/niece is asleep
Now I'm cleaning writing your text down literally, you've made a song out of me
when I finish cleaning I'm gonna write some music.....Like I just did in what you read.
Pause.....Por favor, lea la declaracion anterior de Nuevo. yes I just wrote our conversation into music.
I pray you understand Macho Man