I Got Dreams....

Dreams can easily be forgotten in this begotten world, where the possible seem impossible.

I'll never let go or give up hope. My dreams are simple seeds God has planted within me.

" I BELIEVE" "I BELIEVE"!!!! My soul screams and cries melodies of the free.....

not believing my surroundings or whats around me.

My dreams consume my reality, becoming my reason for being.

I can't deny who I am. A chosen child to bare heavy burdens and pray for those I carry them for.

Tears of relief help me receive the responsibility that has fallen upon me.

I got dreams! that scream "Don't Forget Me"

I put my all in songs I sing and poetry you read... frees me .

I close my worldly windows and take a look inside, flooding my third eye with ever emotion I hide.

I become WE, as I share my life.

You can hear my pain that tends to sustain the worlds strain.

My gifts are not just to entertain but to change and rearrange mindsets.

Lord I shall not fret

These dreams I got are my reality.

I thank you for my understanding, although sometimes I don't understand why I must understand.

Dreams you are my only friend and my man. Your what I strive to be,that better side of being.

You are my mustard seed that won't let go of me.

I am a tree planted by the waters of opportunity, rooted deeply.

Faith is the substance of things hoped for and evidence of things not seen.

Now that I am sleep walking its evident that life.. is.. a.. DREAM.



THE MANNNnnnnnnnn

I actually started thinking about this entry earlier today as I was cleaning up and listening to Adele's CD.Random thoughts were going through my head as usual.  "what am I going to wear to work today" and from that thought stemmed a flash back of a previous employer who shall remain nameless but I traveled the U.S. with her and I remember something she said to me that I will never forget. " TiMori smart business owners higher people who are better and smarter than them otherwise the company will never grow beyond the owners level of thinking........hmmmmmm. I left her office and it didn't hit me until that morning about 1:00 am. I am employed by someone who isn't even at my level and doesn't pay me what I'm worth!!!!! After that epiphany I QUIT!!!
So anyway moving right along I went to work today and the new girl that's over me, we actually both started together with no previous training but that's a whole nother story. We started working on the Task list the boss " The Man" left. I began to ponder my previous thoughts again but I didn't say a word about it.To make a long story short the Man does the associate I m working with terribly wrong, talks about her and her work ethic etc. but never took out the time to properly train her
Well today was the day. She let the man have it." You fake phony @#*&% ...@#$#& use your imagination." When you get to a point in your life and you realize your worth you won't settle for anything. To be honest I am proud of her because people will run over you as long as you let them. I don't think anyone said it better than Bernie Mac on players club.  Don't tell me good job!!!PAY ME!!!!

LIFE , LOVE, LIVE

I had a very interesting conversation with .... and became very said. LOVE. He doesn't believe in true love........tear from my soul. WHY!!!???? I just can't wrap my mind around this concept. I can't see myself living this life and not ever having true love. The one who is God sent. I deserve true love Love is not evil. God is love.I can really go on and on about this subject. I have just decided to make this a series topic. 

Love from the Bible: 

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:1-13)

How did I get up here???

WOW Mr. Moon Man!!!! We spent some one on one time together and  he is all the man I dreamed him to be.......without physical intamacy. He's far beyond interesting. He has been on my mind all day. at the thought of him a smile apears on my face.... What have you done to me this is a scary place!!.

The Man In The Moon.

First I have come to the conclusion that I am the only person on earth who doesn't have the Internet on there phone. It just seems point less to me. Which is probably one of the reasons why I am the grandma of the group. I have finally decided to step in to 2011 and get the STUPID Internet on my phone, which is almost a required feature for the phone I have. LMBO.
     Moving right along.... I  really have a crush on this guy. A real "Crush"!!!! Like what in the world. I am almost 30yrs old, so without revealing to much info. We both have the same first love MUSIC... so anyway I went back home to visit for my grandmothers Bday and the family went out after grannies party. There was a rare moon out. Actually the moon won't get  that close to the earth again until 2029. We were at a club that was on the top floor of a hotel surrounded by glass walls, downtown overlooking the city.  We were standing near the dance floor and my feet started hurting sn: thanx to the impossible shoes. I immediately said " hey y'all I'm About to go sit down". I found a seat with the perfect view of the new moon and it was beautiful!!! I began to stare at it and forgot I was at the club. I started thinking about Moon Man. He is so intriguing to me, but I can't let him know that. I really just want to know more about him. I can not believe I have a crush. I AM LAUGHING MY BUTT OFF. We have flirted back and forth since my space years. He said he stared at the same moon....In his thought did I appear?? This crush is so crazy I'm gone leave it alone I don't want to be embarresed by another post I put on here.. I hope to see u soon Mr. Man In The Moon

Hands Down...

 I really enjoy being single!! I have no one to question me. Where yoou going? who you with? How you know them? What time you comming back????etc, but today I want to be taken. I wanna put my hands down. Single life sucks today. I am off for the whole weekend and have nothing to do sn:chill with my family, but I wanna relax with my "Boo" lol. This reminds me of a piece I wrote called Perfect Man....hhmmmm. Maybe I will just start posting my poetry on here since everything I write about reminds me of something I wrote. We Shall SEE!!"In my Five Heart Beats voice"

PERFECT MAN

We make love not sexually but intellectually exchanging thoughts with each other…

Mmmhhhhh aint nothing like a smart brother.

My perfect man is hard to understand but yet I understand him and sometimes can’t stand him.

He wipes internal tears with his eyes and sees me from the inside. Emotions I don’t hide because he reads my mind.

I know that he’s a blessing and he actually has the nerve to stick around when I’m PMS-in

He’s not about the games or pimpin females he keeps it real

He is my mind teaser, pleasure releaser, bath water drinking.

The one that I need the reason I breathe when I think of him I get weak in the knees and thump between them passionately to receive He, the other half of me.

Your eyes are the ocean. One of Gods most beautiful creations.

I see God in you and we worship together and make him our foundation.

About my perfect man I know almost everything except where he is and when he’ll come to me

So I sit and wait patiently. Preserving me. Cleansing spiritually, healing self inflicted wounds by being with men who were unworthy, but I know who I am now and I'm lonely.

Please come to me. It’s not good for man to be alone or for a woman to be with out a home. I know that he is out there somewhere so I stay in prayer for him. I pray he knows I’m waiting

Morning Mourning

Wow I am up very early this morning. I am very teary this morning. I've been thinking about my mother, who passed when I was 15. Mannn cancer is a true battle, I just thank God for her. I wonder what our relationship would be like if she was still alive. Its nothing like yo momma....tear. For so many years I thought  that seeing her battle would be one of the hardest things I had to see In my life and then in 2005 my father had a heart attack in church while he was preaching and died.......On Mothers Day!!! of all days. I sure do miss being a daddy's girl. Its a cold cold world!! You never know Gods Master plan. My God mother really Stepped up to the plate and adopted my sister and I, 3months ago sickle cell took her life.. I decided today I'm just gone cry. Lord knows I'm tired this reminds me of a poem of mine. I'm just gone post it and stop writing about my emotional inside..

Laugh My Tears Away

                                                            One day I’m going to laugh

Laugh in the face of my enemies, Spit in the face of those who said I wouldn’t make it and let them know where there place is.

One day I’m going to laugh when I look back over my life and I think about all the people who where trifling, family, friends, those who pretend but weren’t there when I thought my life would end.

One day I’m going to laugh when I look back on Love realizing all along it was just lust. One day I’m going to laugh when I think of all the places I rested my head and all those times the couch and floor where my bed.

I’m really gone laugh when I can make donations instead of the one receiving and eating imitations.

One day it’s gone be funny when I look back and think about how my mother and father are together now and they’re both in heaven looking down.

One day I will chuckle that my God mothers there now, you know I believe im still in denial.

One day im going to laugh and dry up all these tears.

I guess I just have to cry for a while and laughter comes with years

Leave Me alone Mr. Married Man!!!!!!!

I was spending some quality time with my niece today doing a little shopping and as usual we get stopped because she is such a cutie pie. We are standing in the check out lane and the man in line was talking to her but talking at me. If you know what I mean.... so we exchanged a few words... Blah blah blah ...yah yah yah.
He paid and left then I paid. I just had this feeling he was going to be outside somewhere so as we began to walk out I sucked in my belly and walked to the car like a lady should...sn: thanx Godmom...and he appears. aye excuse me. excuse me ...blah blah blah yah yah yah.  I'm from Texas...blah blah blah....I'm here working yaahh yah yah.... I think to myself just ask for my number.... So u gone let me call u. Wow is that how yall ask for people number in Texas???? lol He apologize in a nervous manner. So he called maybe 2hrs later, to make a long story short he asked if we could meet for dinner. I was like cool! Anyone who knows me knows I love to eat and socialize. Moving right along. I missed his call, so i called back and a guy answered the phone and said hold on this his WIFE right......... WIFE!!! uh NO!! Click.... 20 min later I get a call from him. I just had to answer cause what can u possible say. Save yourself the embarrassment, but noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo you got to call me back and tell me the stupidest dumbest lie. Why Lord WHY!! WHY ME!!! lol after all his yah yah yah and blah blah blah...lie lie lie bull. I simply said
" Leave Me Alone Mr. Married man" What a day off work....I should've went in.

Insomnia Bags....

It me up again at 3:31 wide awake and for what??????? Sooooooo I decided to open my self up a lil bit and go ahead and write my exact thoughts..... lol

Why must I count the sheep to sleep every night. I'm sure they are tired of me they need some peace. I just want some zzz's. Insomnia please depart from me. Is this a dream..... Nope still awake. Shakin my damn head. I want to go to bed. I  got a flight tomorrow and I'm gone have to pay extra for baggage. My eyes have had it. I got enough weight.... that flight is today!! Its a New Day!! Its daylight savings!!! I lost an hour but I made it. thank God I am awake to see another day. Man I got church today and its my off day. am I suppose to sing? Oh please lord cover me,my friends and family. 3:41 my how time pass when you have a short attention span. Its hard to stay focus when the world seems hopeless... Well I'm about to get on this couch and zone out. Close my eyes and listen to my thoughts, probably have to get back up and write them . Its hard being Artistic or gifted some people just don't get it. I'll probably be embarrassed when I read this later? Who cares I'm just me.... soon to be appreciated.

Blessed are those who Dream Dreams and are willing to Pay the Price!!!!

Okay sooooo its like 5:45 in the morning  and I have been up since 3:30. I did my normal prayer time that I do when I wake up like this, I feel like its something I need to pray about or someone I need to pray for so I just pray the ABC's each name and situation of the alphabet and I am normally sleepy by then. I align my day since it isn't here yet. I tell my day how its going to be, but today I didn't go back to sleep........ 3:30, 4:15, 4:30, 5:17, 5: 27,..........5:44am and then it happened a great Epiphany!!! They always say nothing comes to a sleeper but a dream RIGHT!!! Well anyone who knows me knows that I have insomnia to the 10th power. I Never sleep!!  Its because I have enough dreams while I am awake!!!! WOw . Does that make since or am I just sleep? lol

Okay... so what!! I'm a Weirdo

So I guess I'm not a true blogger but I'm working on it...... Today at work this girl was showing me some pictures of her baby and her baby daddy, so naturally I was like ohhhh so that's your husband. I didn't wanna say yo baby daddy. She was like" well my fiance' " I said "oh ok... well same thing" trying to play it off. Then we started talking about wedding plans. I told her I am almost finished planning my wedding even though I am single..... lol and then it came .....The weirdo stare. Im like yeah its going to be a winter wedding. I even have my wedding dress picked out. I started to tell her I went to Davids bridal and tried on dresses but I don't think she could have handled it. lmbo, that was fun. Me personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I pray for my husband daily cause if he is going through half of what I am going through he needs it. What do you think about my weirdness which I like to call faith.