Wild Beauty! You back?

I'm getting in the place where I'm trying to write everyday again. Aye Yall,  wouldn't it be amazing if I'm also a brilliant author. I'm just saying. I've never really called myself an author. I just say, I write! lol right. And quite often its broken English, spelled incorrectly, fragments arranged carefully with periods instead of commas. Just to rebel ......that's funny as hell. I'm just kidding Hell is not funny people. And lil ones you don't have to use it in a sentence to prove a point. .......point brings back a memory when a friendly acquaintance decided to ask me if there was a point I was trying to prove with the tips of my afro red. Way back then before the trend, I then stated "The point has already been proven"  I turned and continued my conversation at the table which the brother was walking  by and decided to make that side bar statement.. I'm just tickled thinking about it now. OMG honestly I've been trying to finish writing this entry for two days Lord knows I need this therapy. Don't judge me. Get in, Where you fit in? and these sessions are Free. Literally. Literally Free people, free people......LOok hear,  people. Its 4 am actually 20 minutes until five. Revive... Lets build. Today, this moment, this second, Each letter my eye sees a sea of healing and my body receives everlasting healing in all ways possibly human....Singing "let me be spiritual!"  Says the healed soul. You we're never broken. Created whole. Perception hole. Hold.....Yall my first painting was called Opportunity People Hole" No! " The Peep Hole Of Opportunity " That's what it was called, the second one. The difference between a weed and a flower is perception! I really wish I knew who said that. It's just so true. Everyday I want to use it. I've seen some weeds that are cute dainty flowers. Speaking of flowers Humming Mary and I celebrated my cousins birthday on yesterday. R.I.P. Rest-n-party.....It sounded good in my head. but we partied for him and I believe she was happy. I painted a picture for him called " Munchkin  Love"  its ready for purchase, price point 2 million. He called us the munchkins. well its 5:11am and I think I should take a nap. singing "Stay Woke!" Have a beautiful day. Blessings.

Productive Negligence

At last!!!! Honestly family I believe I've been avoiding these therapy sessions mhhhh,  I'll say...... more like productive negligence. I believe I like the way that sounds....so many thoughts to put together in so few paragraphs. Pause, to find some music......singing you don't gotta go to work we can work from home.... moving on. My phone is still  on workout tempo. Ri Ri bring it on " please don't stop the music! music! Family, the last few months of my life have been ....thinking of a word??? theatrical, no. movie, no... A real life screenplay. literally I was in a play on a broadway stage! Broad way!? Yes I said it! Right here in Prattvegas! "The difference between a weed and a flower is perception" uknown who said the last statement but it stuck with me. In preparing for my role in the Play " The Ultimate Comeback " I began the spiritual journey of channeling emotion. Look here!!!! All I know is actors and Actresses deserve the millions they get paid. I'm officially a professional actress. At least that's what I told myself everyday leading up to the play. To be able to cry in deep sorrow on cue takes a unspoken and rarely understood form of self awareness of life, trauma and or experiences. When I decided to become a professional I had to address, identify, conquer and release, that was my personal technique . I avoided practicing the crying scene for several weeks. I didn't want to take myself there. I didn't want to tell myself that I need my momma and I want my daddy. I didn't want to release the screams I felt while looking at their caskets or walking away from their graves as my heart screamed burial day, my soul cried 'Lord please don't make me leave!"... tear.  Lets piggy back away from here and move forward to my present journey. My interview with Chris on ABC was fun and interesting. WSFA with Tonya Terry was great also. Please forgive me if you're reading this and you didn't know. I had several... many, I had a plethora of people tell me "Hey! I saw you on the news" " Aye! You need to let people know the next time you on the news!"  I was just like "Okay" LOL I really tapped into who I am this season fam. And it feeellllls GREAT! Thank you Lord for this plate. I met with my publisher the day before yesterday. WHAAAAaaaay Ya girl got a publisher to publish her......God did dat! Just like that. Gave it all back. I bought a new notebook yesterday in which I wrote." God from this moment on I allow you to love me. " Its too deep for me to go into detail and if it didn't resonate when you read it ....read it again, ask the one above for understanding. I'm no longer in a place of explaining explanations. Check it, respect it, Hunny Money said it!  That being said I understand why God is so carful with me....Strategically delicate comes to mind when I think of the love......Im stuck, struck


blessings

Making mistakes is better than faking perfection

Heyyy!!! I mean I'm back! Look who's in the building......honestly I must apologize family. Its been a long time. please do forgive me I just have so much going on it seems I've had no time for my therapy.....I haven't even had a chance to tell you the Vegas details. And here I am 2months later. Well better late than nather. I mean never. Never have I ever. Ok....were we gone take that?.......Never have I ever had a dream that wasn't real......just a little more detail... When I woke up I knew what it meant or ...if it should be repeated... or if it came from sleep eating. you know like eating a good snack before bed while in it......Again I wake up... let me pause for a minute this may be to much information for the internet. just kidding, not really

ViVa

Our God is an awesome God, He reigns from heaven above with wisdom power and love. Our God is an awesome God. singing loooove its so many things I need to tell youuuu. If you keep reading I'm gone tell you how. It aint no possibility you look at me differently. Why! Cauuuuuse Looooveee, I'm just gone keep it real like I always do!!!!! STop STop .......Yall I am really sangin this song with soul in my head as I'm writing. Back to the point of that whole interlude song. So many things I have to tell yall family. For once I'm not hungry. Shout out to hungry greedy girl for showing up during my early morning snap!!, as I make my tea and do my morning thing which always includes some manner of music. even if its toilet toe tapping. That's humorously graphic. My Paw Paw used to say it's better out than in and it's better to bare the shame than to bare the pain. You are supposed to SH@t everyday.  CUT!!!! Back to the music and love, all of the above. I was talking to God the latter part of the morning about this acting thing. I'm like Oh My God! What have I done! I told everyone I'm going to be in this play. Now see Jesus! This is why? See that's a lot  of pressure. Thank you Lord for all these gifts. I gotta be really carful  what I type write "hear". written words manifest thoughts thru the ear. Lord make it clear. Singing Free your mind an the rest will follow. En Vouge .....Over the river and through the woods to grandmothers house we go. AYE yall I was playing on grannies guitar this morning I think I should name it..hmmmm. we'll get back to that. While playing grannies guitar I decided its time for me to put my fingers on a harp. That's something I've never done. I guess you heard that holy Father son. I did not put an exclamation mark.........ok.  I take that tone back.It's the PMS. God and I have my best relationship. I mean he gives me my thoughts before I say them. like in a physical realm. I remember I .....well I wanted to testify about the thought I had for Vegas. ViVa Las Vegas.......look. hear. yes hear. AMAZING!This gone be a testimony of truth! So, if you!?.............. I'm gone speak it in my church standing in my truth.  Meaning being who I'm. Understand you are the building. Words in the past I watered down. My cramps say lay down but I had to get that out. Love Peace and Blessings

Hunny Money

SOooooo family I'm just sooooooooo excited.....The other day I saw an eagle soaring while on the back porch. The above video is me sweeping around my own front door. Not yours. I just did a run on the piano in my head....lol. oh, but I knows a man! That will be your broom in the sand .........wait a minute "broom in the sand" ...... ok I can't get stuck there literally. I feel like I should write on that statement. I love you all and pray blessings for you...............sike. Yall thought I was about to say bye. lol I have to much to say or explain in intimate detail to those of you......you know who you are. still reading. Greetings, from Hungry Greedy Gurl. I'm seriously hungry right now...........A day and a few hours later... I ate and I'm actually full right now. let me pause and read what I was writing about. Never mind. I'm already in the flow. I'm just glad to be here from a day ago. OOHHHHhhhhh. Hunny Money in the building . LOL. Okay family if you don't know who Hunny Money is?  Real quick. Every day I have tea with honey and no matter how much I put in, I always have to add more. like my money so sweet and no matter how much,  The lil hunny bear sings " Some Mo Honey, For tha Hunny with the money." lol  YALL! I actually shared that thought on social media, snap, instagram. I decided to record myself singing it one morning and decided to share it and I thought to myself " What if I was a rapper? "" hmmmmm yehhhhh." "I think I'll call myself Hunny Money." Which is where the song "Mo Honey"......Hunny with the money........I'm really trying to think of a title for this life song I created throughout my daily routine. Love, Peace and blessings.

The Ultimate Comeback

SO! family, I'm back and better than ever..... I'm so grateful and glad to be hear. I juts finished a whole spill on periscope about my not Macho man.... and all of that shared it on facebook. I really have so positivity to talk about. The play I'm in called the "Ultimate Comeback" please come out and see it if your available and can. I pray ticket sells exceed all expectations according to Ephesians 3:20. Warning! If you see me in the casino having a great time its because I'm doing character research. LOL. I must admit that I speak to those slot machines and say "give me my fathers money!" I've won a lil something but have yet to hit the jackpot. Which is my goal every time I go. I believe my blog entry/therapy/real life is about to get realer? the realest? most real? realer than most. Yeah, that sounds about right. Its sunday family and I'm alive. That's a positive vibe. Praise be to God!

Not so Macho...Thank God for clarification

Well familia, I stand corrected he is not a Macho Man! Yes I jumped right in. Yall have been reading long enough....for me to start where I left off. SOooooo my boyfriend explained to me that in his culture, Macho man isn't the cute nick name I thought it to be. Side note we are at the nick name stage and I also explained that he can't call me timora. but any way he went on to explain that to call him a Macho man would mean he is abusive and hits women something like a player too. He then said " That's not who I am..? " I explained. I thought it was a cute nick name, like you my macho man.....Any way.  I had to make that clear to yall. because I'm sure my readers are from all backgrounds. God is good people and I hope you are living your best most positive life. I'm going to Chicago to see my family and granny tomorrow. I'm so excited. I miss my granny. Loosing my grandma Mary here in Alabama has made me cherish her even more. Although she's already a jewel.
I plan on trying some good vegan food. Hungry Greedy Gurl style. I should probably look that up now. Shout out to Americas Best Eye glasses Montgomery on Ann Street for squeezing in an appointment for me so I can see on this journey. lol js. I truly appreciate great service.

Macho Man

I decided to tell the world about my Macho Man as while writing a song about him..........



I'm missing you more now.
The baby/niece is asleep
Now I'm cleaning writing your text down literally, you've made a song out of me
when I finish cleaning I'm gonna write some music.....Like I just did in what you read.
Pause.....Por favor, lea la declaracion anterior de Nuevo. yes I just wrote our conversation into music.
I pray you understand Macho Man 

Great

She's back!!!! And better than every Wild Beauty in the building!!! Also known as TiMori Lynn,also known as Hungry Greedy Gurl, also known as Nanny, hairdresser, designer, stylist, teacher, singer, painter, writer, blogger, actress, temptress.....lol I'm just kidding all this temptation is for my husband. ok, lets see, what else? etc. My faithful readers and listeners you get my drift. Newly joined family, I would like to thank you for coming. You are appreciated.  OHHHHHHHhhhhhhh my do I have a lot to talk about family. Yall know that it was my hearts desire to go back to California, It happened. I went back and to God be the glory!!! I was treated like royalty. I'm not sure if any of you all have ever struggled in life in a foreign land but......I'm about to listen to the struggle is over while I type. Nah, I better not. I'll just sing it in my head. I have a lot to type  write where I'm at. I am truly amazed at the beyond celebrity royal treatment I've received over these past few weeks. I'm in awe at how great God is continuously. I've been traveling, eating and tasting some of the finest cuisine. I'm just saying yall that's a big thing to #hungrygreedygurl namean.(you know what I mean). lol. I just want you all to know that I haven't forgotten about you.  I have a play I'm in coming up also, September 29th, Dreams and blessings come true and thru! I need to catch up my podcast crew. I've been on the road back and forth so....I had to take out moment to say HEY! family everything is a okay. Lord have your way. Greaaat Day! It feels good to be great!

you where?

Well family..... I'm back and better than ever!!! God is so Good. I'm back in California. I'm so grateful. Lord I want to say thank you. Even in the midst of lifes storms you reign blessings. I'm glad to say my sunshine has come. Honestly I'm just in the beginning stages of this new transition. I'm loving the position!!! Ok so it rhymed. I'm here in California allowing God to line up everything right in my life. I believe and receive Lord. Blesss me, my husband and our families. It felt so Good to wake up this morning and walk straight to the beach and pray. Sing to God all on my own praise. Today was amazing, that's all I wanted to say family. I'll be sure to keep yall updated.

You said what?!

Yalllll this so funny. I mean I am beyond tickled. So this man Im talking to speaks another language that I have yet to master, right. So he text me like yeah go outside be grateful pray to God and for the universe the earth etc....basicly be gratful. Soo I'm texting like yeah cause the stars were so beautiful earlier when I went out I wanted to see them again. I did. I go outside, talk and pray to the holy one and only true love of my life. I think to myself I'm gone call and pray in my spiritual tounge no matter what be the out come. I mean for real yall I feel like if a man is the one he should here your God given tounge, BUT WAIT! The funny part was his reaction after asking me to pray with him.... I called at 11:11 I had already begin praying and continued as he answered.  I think in my head" Lord Jesus! What tha"..... as my mouth was building, praying, loosing and binding with authority. Released all positivity. Jesus ability! Ok so,,,, I'm rhyming. Anyway the funny part is when I was ready to stop speaking in tounges God wasn't ready. LOL SO! I continued and hung up the phone! Continued my worship until the father and I were done. Because ultimately he is the one. Look people you can not tell God what to do with your gifts......I drafted this post and its been sitting here waiting to get posted or for me to read it again and say. My words of prayer didn't scare him away. God be praised. What is meant to be will be. I love you God thank you Jesus for this day!

Positive Reflection

It feels so great to be alive today family. I've learned a lot about myself these past few weeks. I've taken a look over my life, in positive reflection I realized. I have fallen in love easily, several different times in my life. Its not a bad thing, It just says a lot about how much love God has embedded in me.... I just want to keep it really real and say" thank you Lord for giving me the strength to hold this nickel between my knees. A phrase my granny always told me at her house when I would walk out to leave. I didn't always listen and paid the consequences. Soul ties, lies, love disguised...lol. One thing for sure at this point in my life, I got them knees clutched tight. Hey fam its the ability to choose, which empowers you. Please don't get my writings confused. Yes, I desire to be a wife and God is truly the love of my life. I was having a conversation with a friend and we were talking about intimacy beyond physicality's....quite interesting. In my younger days of experiencing forms of love I once wrote " They say you've never loved till you've lived but no one ever told me what to do when love doesn't love you back"......lets pause on that..... tickles me to think of my mind state when those words came across my plate. In my present state I meditate daily on the love deep in my soul that loved me first, before earth. Word! yall be blessed and all the rest.

Dreams watered

What's up family?! Yall every been so tired that you just want to cry? I kid you not. I wanted to cry when I got off work today. I must say it was so beautiful outside today. But I'm tired I had 28 lil ones in my class. Father God bless them all. Life is a long road.....and as I always say " The Show Must Go On" I would like to lay down and sleep but its been a minute since I had the opportunity to record my podcast soooo, I must do that! BUT! First I must say to you....yes you! my faithful readers. Keep yo head up! I'm outta here. time waits for no one. Tears or no tears. I think maybe God didn't let me cry when I felt like it because I've watered enough dreams through the years. Manifestation is here. Hear. Amen
Dreams watered, I remember many years ago I wrote. I got a umbrella in a hailstorm. Its going to be a peaceful reflection when I read that entry on my podcast. I wonder.....What year was that? Love, peace and hair grease. Hey! yall hold up see something.........

.........

February 13th 2018.....that loving feeling. Well family, one hour until Valentines day and I still believe you have what you say. One thing I know for sure. There is a lot of truth in a joke. A quote I thought of when I jokingly shared with my sis. I planned to miraculously marry my husband to be this evening and on the 14th make a baby. HAPPY VALINTINES DAY!!! lolI honestly  made that statement expecting a move of greatness. I mean a God that raises the dead, heals the seek, turns water to wine surely he can put in place this husband of mine. I'm just saying that's how things work in this mind. That's it, that's all amen.

Love Bath

I love,  love family.  I mean no matter what I'll never stop loving. That is one commandment I have down for sure. I've been listening to this song on and off all day. I love it......clears throat." husband step in"......speaking existence. Married on the 13th, Pregnant on the 14th. Boom! Happy Valentines Day! It still sounds good to me. We shall see. lol I'm going to be singing love bath in my sleep.  While I count all the great qualities that come with he. The other half of me......Yall for real I'm grooving to this song. I want to get up and glide across the floor but I'm still on leg rest. And I went to work tonight.....goodnight, good morning. It depends on which country you're in. Just know I wish you nothing but blessings. Amen. 

Praise be to God for these brown eyes. I rise! I rise! I rise!!! singing praise to the most high..... Nurse Mary put me on leg rest!  " That's the best thing you can do for it." Im like " Who? I don't have time for that!!". Soooo here I am. Resting my leg....... joyfully,  while sharing with you all..... I'd planned to get some running in this morning. I woke up at 4:44 praising and waiting for 5 o'clock, which is the time I was supposed to get up and workout. Isaiah 53:5. Honestly I'm just grateful to be awake and see through these brown eyes Jesus made. Don't judge this mornings playlist. Time to post podcast episode 7. God bless. Try hearing with your eye today. True vision comes from within. If you can feel music you.............I paused for a second, our severe weather intercom went off. If! you can feel music? Well, when I feel music. I see it in my soul..... Day! leh go!!! My stomach is growling. Hungry Greedy Gurl is on the prowl.  Blessings again fam. Amen.

The Greatest I am

Singing.....It feels good! Yeahhh! It feels good family! It feels great to be me. I had a wonderful weekend in Memphis Tennessee. Ivy Lynn had a cheerleading competition. I'm so glad that I was able to be there. Quality time with my sister and niece is something that money can't buy. I'm truly going to miss them when I leave Sweet home Alabama. Lord, continue to shower me with your blessing every second, of every minute of, every hour of 2018 and all the years to come. According to your word in Ephesians 3:20 mentally, spiritually, emotionally, financially and physically. Twenty pounds get off me. JS. I worked to hard to get the weight off. Wait.....and waited to long to get to this place, that being said
On the ride back home today sis and I had a humorous conversation. I mentioned this up coming Valentines Day. " I can get married on the 13th pregnant on the 14th, BOOM!" "Happy Valentines Day!" It was funny how we said Happy V day together. Our car rides are something else. You had to be there.... Anyway I'm back home and its back to the governess grind. Back to Cali time and I can't wait to wiggle my toes in the sand and let the wind flow through me like air. God your always here. The super bowl let me know its time to mount up on wings like eagles. lets soar!!! We want more! We want more! We want more!! You have to excuse me I'm just know getting out of Cheer auntie mode. Amen to all of the above I said, in order to be the greatest I am. love peace and blessings fam.

Mathew 21:21

Glory to God I made it another day....21 Jesus answered and said unto them, verily I say unto you, if ye have faith and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but ye shall say unto the mountain , Be thou removed and cast into the sea and it shall be done. You se!. The ocean, the sea. I have some simply joy bubbling inside of me as we prepare to rest our eyes on this up coming hump day.
Loook now family I didn't just say speak to your Wednesday and make it disappear. I do mean speak to whatever mountain you see in your way,whatever it may be in your life.........vague . Tell it to be thou removed and don't doubt. Its done by faith. Family this is a great scripture to remember. Please believe there will come a time in your life where you have to speak some things. The same way you speak it in. speak it out. A two way street mouth.......hmmmm is that the correct analogy? a round  about, horse shoe? lol I'm just trying to say use your power. Its power hour. Power hour.....Its funny how... what words meant in college no longer mean the same thing to the present me. Power Hour was a drinking game we used to play before we partied.......Its a long story but ugghhhhh. I'm pretty sure that's why I don't care much for drinking now. A glass of wine from time to time is just fine for me. Grannies say everyday is the healthy way,,,,,,, Enough about that.....this is a honest transition. The hour of power is upon me. All that I have spoken is manifest intentionally this hump day 100 fold, according to the blessing of Abraham . I am that I am.  yall better get with your words man. Been there, done that, got a contract that I just finished looking at, Take that, take that. Blessed is Elite Etiquette , TiMori Lynn, LeMon Sugar, Hungry Greedy Gurl and Wild Beauty, exceedingly abundantly above Ephesians 3:20. Amen. Thank you family for speaking all these things in existence for me now.... literally by reading and listening. The eyes of music, the ears of poetry and the songs of a soul.   I love yall fo sho! Bless yall tho.

I accept this grammy on behalf of..........love

What in the world Hungry Greedy Gurl. I am so full right now. Lord thank you for the delicious food I just devoured, Bless the hands of Humming Mary who prepared it. Living in the moment..... Siting  watching the Grammys. My acceptance speech proceeds to read... Thank You Father God for your son Jesus Christ who is the head of my life. We have made it this far. This is for you all. I am honored to be recognized in the eyes of many, for being me. Free globally. Universal love. Thank you for allowing me to spread the wings God has given me. I stand here open. A seed sowing artistically all that is within me. Many years of tears spent nurturing this dream. Just be...family. I love you. Thank Lord for my lil big sister Mesha and Tammy. Thank you for  Ivy Lynn, Chrissy and Laylah. Thank you for my whole family, God sisters, nephews, nieces and friends. Thank you for my mother and father who are in heaven with you. Thank you for Joyce, grandad, auntie Joya and granny...who are also in heaven in that order. Thank you to the love of my life, for listening to God. Muah! To God be the Glory. 

Congratulations The Grammy goes to....

 TiMori Lynn!!!!!! Again and again. " Thank you! Thank you! So, I'm sitting here thinking to myself... and you all tonight like... Praise be to God. OMG, Father say it be so. I am yours. Its the desire of my heart be a great wife with a great family and be the best you would have me to be in all things. In all my ways acknowledge you. Boom! lol that statement is vague. Every way he gets an acknowledgement. because all things work together for the greater good. What's understood doesn't have to be explained.... Angel. Feeling angelic shifting some... shifting atmospheric, in the spirit. I believe. I decree. I receive....."Sounds like a great hook to me." You heard it here first family. Thank you for taking out the time to read and listen to me be me. FREE..... just in case you forgot or you just opened your eye. " Peephole Of Opportunity" . I would like for you to know that Free people, Free people........Be Free and Free someone. You are free of bondage because your mouth says so. Let go of chains that have been broken people. " Give us, Us Free!" " Give us, Us Free!"  My Brother said on the movie Amistad. Today I say " Free us give! Free us give! We are free of being bound by any other word but those of the promise of Abraham, the holy father. The great I am, the almighty Jesus Christ. Who bled on the hillllll there's a cross, on the cross there is blood for me. I'm now singing ........which was in my head most of the day at work this morning, afternoon and evening.
That was a rather long greeting family but I had to get that out... I wrote a piece today called " Music in my head" at 10:11. The timing will have great significance when you hear it. I'm .................. on to the next level of creativity. universal dispersal...I better hold my girdle ......Laughing at the launch stage ......Like ayyyeeeeee I'm on my Waaaaaaayyyyyyy! I mean I made it! Family please read this twice. Its quite creatively made. "She says" Amen. In the beginning was the word. (thought  to ponder.) Said or written? Cat or kitten? Egg or chicken? Vegan? Hungry Greedy Gurl is about to jump in it. I better hurry up and finish and go get a snack or something. God be my witness. You are amazing!

Vitamin A, B, C, D

Singing Ohhhhhhhh I made it. I made it to this moment. Honestly yall I didn't want to get out of bed this morning. Like for real. I just laid there and said to myself." just lay here." lol "Don't get up." You didn't go to sleep until 4 o'clock this morning. The thoughts of nothing comes to a sleeper but a dream rang in me. I immediately sat up.... Shake it off self! I did my morning routine, meditation, took a look at my check list and said lets do this. LeMon Sugar live still on the list. Father I'm gone need you to step in and handle this.
As I prepare to open up my closet room to the world..... I'm feeling slight drain. Maybe I should listen to some music as I complete this therapy session.......Music check. Come to think of it, I didn't take my vitamins today. Well, no time to sit and figure it out. The show must go on. I believe I should get back on my Podcast https://anchor.fm/wild-beauty?at=2385074 and record a few more episodes. Lord I just want to say thank you! That's it that's all. I'm quite emotional today yall. God bless.

Cometh Our Way Like A Rainy Day

Still staring at mine and oh what a blessed time! Sweeping around time......singing " Sweep around your own front door before you try to sweep around mine" Our God is excellent and divine! I sincerely wish I could have posted the blog entry I wrote before this " Sugar Coated" lol. I saved it for my podcast/ radio show. I love you all family and loyal readers. I warmly embrace all my new guest to my therapy sessions....lol about this podcast?.....https://anchor.fm/wild-beauty I kind of feel like a real radio personality. Its rather funny, as I'm finding my voice and listening to the words I've written. I can't believe I started this blog in 2011. How magnificent is our God!
Honestly I was just thankful that, I'm not who I was in 2017. BUT!!! OHHHhhhhhh when I look back at 2011, reading aloud on my station.....Grace that's all I can say. "Grace and Comedy" I believe a new sitcom just came to me. I kid you not my life is full of real Ishh and Hilarity. I believe I just made that word up. If not it just seemed to fit in that sentence oddly. All I know is ................well I know! I won't say all I know because there is only One who is all knowing... I know enough to want to know more.....Likeeee Thaaaaat. Lord I pray that you bless every soul that takes out the time to hear me through their eyes, ears and listen deep within. Its my hearts desire that you bless them. Father I don't know what all the people I love go through on a daily basis? You do. You are the pudding proof. I stand on your word in greatness. Simply because of every breath I've taken while sitting here in this chair. Amen
I have quite a bit of work to do. Time to go live with LeMon Sugar store online. Ephesians 3:20. That ought to get it when it comes to praying about that lil bit....He'll make a little bit, a lot a bit.... I had to say it because it tickled me when I thought of it. Have a blessed, wonderful, joy-filled day. Money cometh our way. lol

I got something to say 17th day

Thank you Lord for the 17th day of this year. I woke up pretty late this morning. Well, I got out of bed late. My daily prayer alarm went off and I was still in bed... that's rare. I said my thankful prayer etc.
Anyway I'm up now. Sitting in front of this lap top mind boggled, wondering where should I start this therapy session. The words to this song come to mind " when the music stops, that's when I lift my voice, when the band goes home, that's when I sing my songgggg" If you've never heard that song, you need to look up Daryl Colee and listen to it. I'm not sure if that's the correct spelling ....Google will auto correct it. Just incase you are new to my blog/therapy/life4real this is a no judgement zone. If I spell it wrong, If I .......No time for explinations for broken English or reverse speaking. Its the way that I see it. Its the way God allows things to come to me. Eyes are ears. Ears are mouths. Mouths are visions. ...........Thank you again for taking out the time to listen and not just hear me.
Honestly I don't know how to sit still for long. I'm ready to move along from Alabama since granny is gone...tear, to the great beyond. I miss California....Ivy Lynn keeps telling me" I'm going to miss you auntie." I'm like "I'm going to miss you too. I'm not leaving yet." She then says " but you're leaving really soon!" I think to myself I receive that.! I'm really gonna miss my family Lord but the show must go on. Its about time to get on the road. Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go. In the words of my momma Ivy Elise " I'm Ready, even if ion get to go!" .....for real tho most of my clothes are in suitcases.
Thinking back to around 2006. My teacher introduced me to Mr. Dudley and he asked me " What is it that you want to do?"  I began to tell him everything that had come to me and that I had put on my vision board. Sitting directly in front of me in a salon chair he said to me. " Look! You're like a butterfly." "Floating over here and floating over there." " All over the place, You need to pick one thing and stick to it!" I can sit here proudly today and say I didn't and don't do it! Not to take away from his words of wisdom. We are not all the same... But he called it 100% right I am a butterfly. I appreciate his time and the words from his book he took out the time to read to me......well not just me there were other elite students there. but I asked him to repeat what he had read and he took out the time to make sure I was able to write down every bit of it. I then applied it to my life memorized it and said it to myself daily adding three words God, myself and you. It goes and I quote

Hope is a duty!
Blessed are those who dream, dreams and are willing to pay the price
I do not choose to be common
I choose to be uncommon
I seek opportunity, not security
I dream I build
I fail, I succeed
I will not lower myself for a dollar
I will not cower before any master or bend to any threat
It is my heritage to stand erect proud and unafraid
To think and act for myself
To enjoy  the benefit of my creation, our creation, Gods creation
I will face the world boldly and say this I have done!
We have done! God has done!

singing " I hold my fist up in the airrrrr in my hair!" " I'm happy nappy" be blessed family. I'm feeling great. I needed to reiterate, put that on my plate. A big ole heep of I'm great.

I am who I am......

Greetings! " It feels good to be in the air." feels good to be breathing. I took myself to the movies this evening. Its only 5 dollars on Tuesday. As I was sitting in the theatre alone I began to think to myself this is what it will be like to watch movies in my home when we have no guest. An interestingly delightful twist on my thoughts about this solo date. The movie was quite funny. I can see myself calling my hunny like " Love could you bring me a few snacks on your way to the theatre?"  I can feel it in the air. He's almost here. My husband is who I'm referring to. But mist importantly Lord. I want you to know....Its you whom I adore. There shall never be anyone or thing above you. Naked I came in this world and naked I shall leave. Just you and me hommie..... You got me.
I would really like to talk about grannies funeral but I'm not ready............I don't think. I greatly appreciate you all who continue to read. The thoughts that ran threw my head the day before the funeral." To sing or not to sing?" What would granny want? The one who made me sing constantly at ever event she participated in. She was a part of every event " church related". Granny is a great part of the reason I am who I am. Amen

How Jazz Changed My Life

"How Jazz Changed My Life" true to the title in which this entry has to be. Because I'm sitting here being touched while listening. Wondering how this form of beloved sound could have been hidden from me so deep.......Ohhhh how I feel the breeze while. Its coming back to me. the memory of my God mother and me when I used to perform at "Jays' place". with the stage fireplace, standing barefooted.....I used to sang from my heart for my Fan. The same song on the same stage ever time Joyce asked, Lord I thank you right now for the mother you created her to be to me......
Thank you Lord for my newly found love. I feel like love has found me. Honestly family....You should know by reading that its not hard for me to find love. and if you don't know that by now then. from time to time go back and read my past entries from the beginning ooorrrrr you can listen to me read them on my podcast. aaattttt "underconstruction" lol it will be up and running tomorrow 10am noon.
LMBO ....so I really wanted to go all into my new love I call jazz but I have to explain the context behind that 10am noon..... laugh grannies funeral was yesterday. Honestly it was far beyond amazing......I must pause for a few fulfilling minutes of painting...I'm feeling "Greatly Elevated". Blessings in the air. Breathe in family God takes care. Amen outta here

You fell out ???

Its day three of 2018 only 362 more days left and I have no choice but to be excited about the expected accomplishments.....just saying. I will always keep a positive mind state. I'm back in Birmingham now but the drive to Prattville yesterday was teary. I had a time hiding my tears from Ivy Lynn while she was sitting in the back seat, insisting to show me how far she got on her Ipad game. Thank God those tears quickly dried up as we traveled the hour long road. I have no ideawhat was going on but I couldn't control them momentarily. She was a great help causing me to think of something else. Clever lil girl..... My cousins and I got together at Humming Marys' , that was pretty cool. I left for a short while and drove up to grannies house summoned by uncle Henrys famous chicken salad......I'm a "Hungry Greedy Gurl" Chile.
 Anyway I walked in spoke to aunt Jean and uncle Henry like " Hey! Where is aunt Mary?" I walk back to grannies room.....It looked so empty with out grannies hospital bed but Humming Mary was in there. " Are you okay?" I asked " I'm fine" she replied. I said " Okay" I looked around and walked out. I made my sandwich, talked for a second and went back to the house to chill. While sitting on the couch, I received a phone call. I quickly got up and began to walk out the room . The fam made some silly chuckles. I could hear 'Whoever that is must be important" lol. It was.
It was the very important person I've recently spoke of.
You know what really tickles me????  Its so hard for people to believe that I don't have a man or that I'm single. The truth is.... I've only had one person to tell me he would stand with me through this process with my granny. Lord I'm glad you chose this person. I just don't think I could face another death alone. Although I am a loner....seemingly...... Its peacefully relieving to have those words spoken to me......don't get me wrong family I have girlfriends, friends and family. God has truly blessed me.
Very few people know what its like to look at a casket alo.... with just me and you father God. I recently sang at my aunts funeral in Chicago. I sang at my granddads funeral. I sang at my dads funeral. Every time it seemed to become unbearable and the loneliness would try and take over...boom time to grab the mic and fight. I could finally faint and let my soul cry.
I was sitting here thinking " Thank you Lord I don't have to sing this time" but what if I pass out. Who will catch me??? Well you did catch me all the other times , while I was holding the microphone. Lord knows I let go and gave you control. I've never fainted in a situation like that before in the physical.......Sweet baby Jesus and big Jesus too. I am truly strength walking in you. but back to this phone call and not standing alone. The words mean so much more than a physical presence.....singing "let me be spiritual! I'm not a natural being having a spiritual experience but I'm a spiritual being having a natural experience. That being said I'm grateful in every sense. ......Honestly yall I just really miss my granny...........tear.  And when I do get to sing it out, Lord I pray that your anointing coats every note and it soothes souls with tears that heal. I pray for all whom I'm living this life hear. I'm outta here. God said it. I believe it that settles it. Amen.

Stick a fork in it......Done! SMH

Well family, granny died this morning. I knew that's what my dream meant. I just didn't want to say it....singing " I can feel it in the air! I can hear it in your voiceeee" I could hear it in Humming Marys' voice. The way she said " How you doing?" told it all. I could hear the tears in her soul , as she blurted out "yo grandma passed this morning" immediately the tears began to fill between our connection. I wanted to scream GRANDMAAAAAAAAAA!! but I could feel the wetness of Humming Marys' tears, with each breath I could hear. So....I digressed and said " I really didn't want her to go. but I know she better tho." " Are you okay?" I gotta gooo. I'm about to call Mesha.....
 I told her and we will soon be leaving here heading back home to the country....but the hardest thing momentarily was telling Ivy Lynn. I was calm.... She is so mature for 9 years old. I said '' Come and sit by me so we can talk for a second" "Remember last week when I was talking to you about granny and what she was going through" " Uh huh" she replied...."Well granny went to Heaven this morning". She burst out in tears and dived into my chest sobbing.....Sweet Jesus. She loved my granny just as much as any of us. She just cried and cried and balled up in my arms like a baby. She finally stopped crying and just laid there curled. She is better now.....hence I'm typing about it. and she's in the shower.
Not sure how to say it but I'm sad Lord.....Granny was the only one that truly believed in me no matter what. I'm just saying. smh that's enough I gotta keep it together until my Minnie me mother gets here. Rest in Peace Granny. You don't have to suffer any more. I prayed to God about your pain after the dream I had this morning........Our thoughts are not his and his healing is his will....for real.. A will in a will.

Whole Love

Singing..... I give you alllllll of me....I took a break and the words of someone "very important" dawned on me. "You're a whole person" Now. as you know family..... I'm sure I wrote I'm whole a time or two last year...but When I heard the words from that source I had to pause in time....... back to now. I was thinking I have so much love I've shared through out the years. Never have I ever shared it as the Whole woman I am this year. Lord you made me whole. All these years.... Its time for me to share the whole holiness of your love you've placed inside of me. I've never been just pieces. Its amazing how the tone of one persons words can make me see this. I just had to share that before I go to sleep this morning. 2018 is my year of "Whole Love". That's it, that's all good morning, goodnight yall.

The Show must go on.....2018

Thank you Lord God for letting me make it to see 2018!!! YESSSSSS We made it!
One thing for sure a writer never runs out of words. I'm sitting here at 2;38 am at my sisters house while everyone is asleep like..... Good morning self! I'm wide awake after that quick nap from 12:am to now. I had an interesting dream during that time period. I don't care to elaborate on.... but as I awoke I began to pray to myself thinking I would fall back to sleep. lol if I did it wouldn't be me. So as I roll outta of my nieces bed." She insist I sleep there every time I visit" So she can hug and kick me I figure.....yes kick but its all love... So before I decided to take the knees. Thoughts of this new  very important person,...Who allows me to be my whole self " not just pieces". He came to me,,,,and I think to myself." I love him. but am I in love? I believe? How can you love someone and not be in love with them?" self said. "Mhhh you have a point " I said lol " This is getting pretty interesting".
I'm at a age, stage in my life where love is not a point that I ponder. "It is what it is" Its the you in him that I love Lord!!! What an awesome wonder!
As I dropped to my knees. Proverbs 31 woman came to me while praying for his offspring. I believe that covered about everything as far as speaking life. I then went back to the topic of my love for you Lord...in human form...peace, rest, joy you know all the rest I don't have to get technical with our personal prayer. Amen again. Now where this love goes is up to you . I'm slightly tickled sitting here thinking " Okay, so... I love the God inside of you and I'm going to share the overflowing  love I have in me,... with the love I love in you" How do I share you with you??? I'm in awe.
I'm gone tell him! Now how would that sound?..................  " And by the way I realized that I love you this morning, pause but you know the God kinda of love....like, but I'm not saying, I'm in love, but I mean because,... you have to be in love to love...its the God in  you." Brief interlude singing ...its the God in me mary mary. "
 Soooo my knees where saying...".God is preparing me to dwell in royalty for loving not man...but his soul loyally, for man changes but the soul stays the same." I'll just let God do the talking and I'll just continue to walk with confidence and hips of intimidation.....lol I'm just saying Jesus. You made them. Amen
I'm going to have to go to bed soon because my lil beauty will be up for breakfast....Man I must be feeling really open this 2018. I Thank you again Lord for what you have already done this year. I am beyond grateful.