How did I get up here???

WOW Mr. Moon Man!!!! We spent some one on one time together and  he is all the man I dreamed him to be.......without physical intamacy. He's far beyond interesting. He has been on my mind all day. at the thought of him a smile apears on my face.... What have you done to me this is a scary place!!.

The Man In The Moon.

First I have come to the conclusion that I am the only person on earth who doesn't have the Internet on there phone. It just seems point less to me. Which is probably one of the reasons why I am the grandma of the group. I have finally decided to step in to 2011 and get the STUPID Internet on my phone, which is almost a required feature for the phone I have. LMBO.
     Moving right along.... I  really have a crush on this guy. A real "Crush"!!!! Like what in the world. I am almost 30yrs old, so without revealing to much info. We both have the same first love MUSIC... so anyway I went back home to visit for my grandmothers Bday and the family went out after grannies party. There was a rare moon out. Actually the moon won't get  that close to the earth again until 2029. We were at a club that was on the top floor of a hotel surrounded by glass walls, downtown overlooking the city.  We were standing near the dance floor and my feet started hurting sn: thanx to the impossible shoes. I immediately said " hey y'all I'm About to go sit down". I found a seat with the perfect view of the new moon and it was beautiful!!! I began to stare at it and forgot I was at the club. I started thinking about Moon Man. He is so intriguing to me, but I can't let him know that. I really just want to know more about him. I can not believe I have a crush. I AM LAUGHING MY BUTT OFF. We have flirted back and forth since my space years. He said he stared at the same moon....In his thought did I appear?? This crush is so crazy I'm gone leave it alone I don't want to be embarresed by another post I put on here.. I hope to see u soon Mr. Man In The Moon

Hands Down...

 I really enjoy being single!! I have no one to question me. Where yoou going? who you with? How you know them? What time you comming back????etc, but today I want to be taken. I wanna put my hands down. Single life sucks today. I am off for the whole weekend and have nothing to do sn:chill with my family, but I wanna relax with my "Boo" lol. This reminds me of a piece I wrote called Perfect Man....hhmmmm. Maybe I will just start posting my poetry on here since everything I write about reminds me of something I wrote. We Shall SEE!!"In my Five Heart Beats voice"

PERFECT MAN

We make love not sexually but intellectually exchanging thoughts with each other…

Mmmhhhhh aint nothing like a smart brother.

My perfect man is hard to understand but yet I understand him and sometimes can’t stand him.

He wipes internal tears with his eyes and sees me from the inside. Emotions I don’t hide because he reads my mind.

I know that he’s a blessing and he actually has the nerve to stick around when I’m PMS-in

He’s not about the games or pimpin females he keeps it real

He is my mind teaser, pleasure releaser, bath water drinking.

The one that I need the reason I breathe when I think of him I get weak in the knees and thump between them passionately to receive He, the other half of me.

Your eyes are the ocean. One of Gods most beautiful creations.

I see God in you and we worship together and make him our foundation.

About my perfect man I know almost everything except where he is and when he’ll come to me

So I sit and wait patiently. Preserving me. Cleansing spiritually, healing self inflicted wounds by being with men who were unworthy, but I know who I am now and I'm lonely.

Please come to me. It’s not good for man to be alone or for a woman to be with out a home. I know that he is out there somewhere so I stay in prayer for him. I pray he knows I’m waiting

Morning Mourning

Wow I am up very early this morning. I am very teary this morning. I've been thinking about my mother, who passed when I was 15. Mannn cancer is a true battle, I just thank God for her. I wonder what our relationship would be like if she was still alive. Its nothing like yo momma....tear. For so many years I thought  that seeing her battle would be one of the hardest things I had to see In my life and then in 2005 my father had a heart attack in church while he was preaching and died.......On Mothers Day!!! of all days. I sure do miss being a daddy's girl. Its a cold cold world!! You never know Gods Master plan. My God mother really Stepped up to the plate and adopted my sister and I, 3months ago sickle cell took her life.. I decided today I'm just gone cry. Lord knows I'm tired this reminds me of a poem of mine. I'm just gone post it and stop writing about my emotional inside..

Laugh My Tears Away

                                                            One day I’m going to laugh

Laugh in the face of my enemies, Spit in the face of those who said I wouldn’t make it and let them know where there place is.

One day I’m going to laugh when I look back over my life and I think about all the people who where trifling, family, friends, those who pretend but weren’t there when I thought my life would end.

One day I’m going to laugh when I look back on Love realizing all along it was just lust. One day I’m going to laugh when I think of all the places I rested my head and all those times the couch and floor where my bed.

I’m really gone laugh when I can make donations instead of the one receiving and eating imitations.

One day it’s gone be funny when I look back and think about how my mother and father are together now and they’re both in heaven looking down.

One day I will chuckle that my God mothers there now, you know I believe im still in denial.

One day im going to laugh and dry up all these tears.

I guess I just have to cry for a while and laughter comes with years

Leave Me alone Mr. Married Man!!!!!!!

I was spending some quality time with my niece today doing a little shopping and as usual we get stopped because she is such a cutie pie. We are standing in the check out lane and the man in line was talking to her but talking at me. If you know what I mean.... so we exchanged a few words... Blah blah blah ...yah yah yah.
He paid and left then I paid. I just had this feeling he was going to be outside somewhere so as we began to walk out I sucked in my belly and walked to the car like a lady should...sn: thanx Godmom...and he appears. aye excuse me. excuse me ...blah blah blah yah yah yah.  I'm from Texas...blah blah blah....I'm here working yaahh yah yah.... I think to myself just ask for my number.... So u gone let me call u. Wow is that how yall ask for people number in Texas???? lol He apologize in a nervous manner. So he called maybe 2hrs later, to make a long story short he asked if we could meet for dinner. I was like cool! Anyone who knows me knows I love to eat and socialize. Moving right along. I missed his call, so i called back and a guy answered the phone and said hold on this his WIFE right......... WIFE!!! uh NO!! Click.... 20 min later I get a call from him. I just had to answer cause what can u possible say. Save yourself the embarrassment, but noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo you got to call me back and tell me the stupidest dumbest lie. Why Lord WHY!! WHY ME!!! lol after all his yah yah yah and blah blah blah...lie lie lie bull. I simply said
" Leave Me Alone Mr. Married man" What a day off work....I should've went in.

Insomnia Bags....

It me up again at 3:31 wide awake and for what??????? Sooooooo I decided to open my self up a lil bit and go ahead and write my exact thoughts..... lol

Why must I count the sheep to sleep every night. I'm sure they are tired of me they need some peace. I just want some zzz's. Insomnia please depart from me. Is this a dream..... Nope still awake. Shakin my damn head. I want to go to bed. I  got a flight tomorrow and I'm gone have to pay extra for baggage. My eyes have had it. I got enough weight.... that flight is today!! Its a New Day!! Its daylight savings!!! I lost an hour but I made it. thank God I am awake to see another day. Man I got church today and its my off day. am I suppose to sing? Oh please lord cover me,my friends and family. 3:41 my how time pass when you have a short attention span. Its hard to stay focus when the world seems hopeless... Well I'm about to get on this couch and zone out. Close my eyes and listen to my thoughts, probably have to get back up and write them . Its hard being Artistic or gifted some people just don't get it. I'll probably be embarrassed when I read this later? Who cares I'm just me.... soon to be appreciated.

Blessed are those who Dream Dreams and are willing to Pay the Price!!!!

Okay sooooo its like 5:45 in the morning  and I have been up since 3:30. I did my normal prayer time that I do when I wake up like this, I feel like its something I need to pray about or someone I need to pray for so I just pray the ABC's each name and situation of the alphabet and I am normally sleepy by then. I align my day since it isn't here yet. I tell my day how its going to be, but today I didn't go back to sleep........ 3:30, 4:15, 4:30, 5:17, 5: 27,..........5:44am and then it happened a great Epiphany!!! They always say nothing comes to a sleeper but a dream RIGHT!!! Well anyone who knows me knows that I have insomnia to the 10th power. I Never sleep!!  Its because I have enough dreams while I am awake!!!! WOw . Does that make since or am I just sleep? lol